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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Say...still looking for that perfect holiday gift!?

Well, if you are, why not consider putting aside the fruitless search for perfection, and head on over to the Revolovblog CafePress Store for all sorts of odd mementos, trinkets, chatchkis, doo-dads, and lovely clothing! And, of course, buy some of them!

Love your brick? TELL EVERYONE!

Need to contain a beverage, and at the same time be able to lift it to your mouth? GIT YERSELF A MUG!

Concerned someone might think you uppity for driving a vintage Volvo? PUT 'EM AT EASE!

GIRLS! Need something to show the man in your life you think the B230F powerplant is really keen? HOW ABOUT SOME UNDIES!

Running behind? GET A CLOCK! and be JUST LIKE LUTHER!

My car will be glad you did!

Monday, December 19, 2005

And what would photos be...

...without Volvos!?

Well, they'd be photos, that's what.

Anyway, since I was bringing the camera in with me today to experiment, I figured I might as well get some pictures on the way in to work. Sunday and today were as gloriously bright and sunny as Saturday had been dim and dreary, so it's been a nice little picker-upper to see the sunshine as it is meant to be seen.

This is the first part of the jaunt on I-459 out in Truss Vegas--



A particularly lucky catch this morning was this guy I see every once in a while who drives an old Mercedes 240D. As you recall, this was they type of car I had been interested in to kick off the I Am A Moron Project, and this guy's car in particular is one that made me want one. I just took the photo from the rear, though, because people tend to get weirded out when you pull up beside them and take their picture. I mean, I assume they would...



I hit a particularly good seam of traffic this morning--there is about a ten minute window there where you miss the early and the late traffic. It leaves you with a nice open road ahead



--but if you leave five minutes later than normal, and it's bumper to bumper all the way. Like these poor folks behind me:



By the way--this is what speed you can drive when you hit the seam:



The only reason I really took that is so I can mention I got a nice GT horn pad for the steering wheel. Why? Who knows. Other than it looks pretty cool.

Anyway, as I said, it's a very pretty day today.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

I am a moron

How else to explain the fact that I just bought another four aluminum alloy Volvo wheels?

A while back I found a nice set of Dracos from a Volvo 740 Turbo on Ebay. They were going to be a future upgrade to the old brick when I finished wearing out the tires that I have on the car now. But, as I've mentioned, they weren't my first choice of bling. I really, REALLY wanted a set of Virgos when I first started fixing the thing up. Downside? Well, even on Ebay, they routinely go for 400 bucks (plus shipping) a set. Quite a bit more than the 80 I paid for the Dracos.

But, you see, in my searching, I stumbled across a set of the elusive Virgos again, and for some reason, no one else seemed to have found them. I patiently waited and watched the price climb to 30, and then all the way up to 50 dollars. At the very last minute, I put in a tiny bid, KNOWING I would immediately be outbid.

Well, except, I didn't get outbid. Upside? I got a set of four rare alloy rims for fifty-one clams. Downside? I HAVE ANOTHER SET OF WHEELS TO SQUIRREL AWAY IN THE GARAGE!

I am such a moron.

It's time for a Volvo Garage Sale...

"Flying Vollll-vos from the skyyyyyyy..."

From the Burlington Free Press:
Car sails into Blair Park building
Published: Thursday, December 15, 2005
By Ashley Matthews
Free Press Staff Writer

WILLISTON -- A white Volvo crashed into a back corner of the Fletcher Allen Given Health Care Center in Williston's Blair Park early Wednesday morning.

Nobody was in the building when the crash occurred, and the driver was not injured, Williston Police Sgt. Bart Chamberlain said. The driver, 24-year-old Tyler Lunderville of Essex, was given a citation for DUI, Chamberlain said. Police responded to the incident at about 4:35 a.m.

Although police are still investigating the incident, they say the vehicle passed through a row of trees and flew into the building's wall, leaving no tire tracks in the snow between the road and the health center. [...]
No word on the make, model, or wingspan.

(The only way the story could have been better was if this had been a Saab.)

Monday, December 12, 2005

More Junk Parts!

Hooray! Got a yard pass Saturday late in the day and scurried as fast as my fat little legs could run (metaphorically speaking, of course, seeing as how I was actually using my fat little legs to operate the gas and brake pedals in the car) over to Pull-A-Part for to pull some parts.

Several weeks back on a particularly cold morning (for Alabama, anyway) I snapped the hook off of the driver's side sunvisor clip, and ever since it has been there mocking my inability to grab a couple of hours to free myself to go plunder the junkyard.

Well, finally I was able to go Saturday and found three good clips, one fairly new. These things must break a lot, because just about every car had the clips gone. Part of the problem is that new ones cost as much as if they were made from solid hunks of unobtanium and kryptonite alloy. But, I got one, plus two spares for the inevitable future breakage.

AND, managed to snag a power antenna from a 740 that I'm still not quite sure will work in my car, AND two leather headrest pad inserts. I had thought that maybe I could put these on the back headrests, but they didn't fit. Second thought was that I could use them on the front, and put the existing cloth padded covers on the back headrests. Which also didn't work. Meaning I have two padded covers I do not need. Luckily, they were inexpensive to the point of being free.

Anyway, I am expecting my upper and lower chassis braces any day now, and I got a pile of small parts such as a timing belt and lumbar support repair kit and seat heater and stereo connector the other day, which will all at some point be properly attached to the car. Sometime...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

From the Volvo PR Department

A discourse from St. Irv regarding the perils of winter driving.

My winter driving tip?

Do all of it in Hawaii.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Oh! Hello!

Been a while since I checked in, but my friend Larry Anderson sent the following and it's too good not to share:

Common Tools and their Uses:

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted airplane part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouch...."

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

VISE-GRIPS: Also used to round off bolt heads. They can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools which transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for re-raising an automobile after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the bumper jack and handle firmly under the bumper.

DOUGLAS FIR 2X4, eight-foot long: Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack hopelessly wedged under the automobile.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbors to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise, but used mainly for getting dog crap off your boot.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn't use anyway.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength of the bolts you forgot to disconnect between the engine and frame.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 100-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells were used during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last over tightened 58 years ago by someone at General Motors, and neatly rounds off their heads.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50� part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.

FLYING TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the shop while yelling "dammit" at the top of your lungs. It is also the next tool that you will need.

EXPLETIVE: A balm or salve, usually applied verbally in hindsight, which somehow eases those pains and indignities following our lack of foresight.

Amazingly accurate!

As for Volvo news--I just won a set of IPD upper and lower chassis braces on Ebay--used, but that shouldn't be a problem. I'll probably go ahead and put the uppers on, but probably wait on the lowers until warmer weather. No use lying on the cold hard ground, you know.